Mercy Cries

unity part 2

2009-03-24T11:05:00.000-07:00

so now that i am back from the conference what does this unity look like? I said that it was like a little peek of what it must of been like in Acts when they shared everything, not keeping things for themselves, but giving as needed. I was even offered a car to drive from someone i had literally just met! When she heard that I was going to walk somewhere to get lunch she simple said' take my car'. But it seems easier to walk in unity at a conference where everything is pointing you to God and to focus on Him and His love. Now back home I am called to walk in that same spirit of unity. When I am having a rough day, when i feel under pressure, when others dont sem to be loving well- still im called to love as if they were myself. When it is not so easy to see Jesus in people, I am still called to love- not with a fuzzy feeling but with tangible actions. When someone is smelly, or has a characheristic that annoys me these are times where I cannot ignore the very prayer of Jesus but I have to still love, still give as if it was I that needed. But it can be hard and I think it must all come down to Jesus being our everything. Me not letting little distractions to take a place that they shouldnt have, to make a mountain out of a mole hill.Jesus give me eyes to see the Jesus in others, no matter differences or surrounding circumstances. And guard my heart that you may be my everything and nothing else.

Unity

2009-03-23T21:15:00.001-07:00

So a few weeks ago I went to an IHOP conference. How it came about was all rather random and surreal. About two weeks before the conference I look online to find some kind of young adult Christian group. I end up finding a social event for younf adults going on at a church and with a hunger for fellowship and friendship I go find this church. After watching a movie together and conversing I was invited to go to an IHOP conference with them. I love the heart of IHOP and so i jumped onboard and went along for the ride!So i find myself two weeks after excepting the invitation, driving to a conferencve with a group of people I have never met and a few that I have met once. And I started to think about the beauty of this family of God. Ever since I was a child I have sung about being a child of God and being in his family. However, it has only been in the past two years that I have really started realising the implications of that. It didnt matter that I had never met these people before, inside of each other we saw something that we new so well- The spirit of God. And as we began talking about passion for prayer and cities to be captivated by Jesus and as we sang to the same God, I felt at home- surrounded by family. Then one of the nights at the conference, as I was in the back dancing and enjoying being in the presence of God, I started to look around, to take in the beauty of all these children of God coming together. I saw young and old, black and white, fat and thin. I saw people kneeling, people jumping, being swirling, people standing with their head transfixed above. I heard yelps and laughed, and cries of sorrow in repentance, whispered prayers and shouted prayers.So many differences, so many diversities, yet that was the beauty of it. There was no sense of seperation because of it. What mattered was the same, the heartbeats were one, the hunger was for the same, the one being pursued and romanced with was the same Lover. I dont think that the picture there was too much different from the picture we have of the early church in acts. I have always wondered how all those people had everything in common, but as I was taking this beautiful scene in, I realised that all those differences were irrelevent, that dispite them we trully had everything in God. That it is Christ who is to be our everything, when he is our heartbeat, the end that we are hungering after all the other stuff will fade from the forefront.As the children's song goes 'when the Jesus in me sees the Jesus in you it's so easy to love'. I have always thought this song wasn't true. That it wasn't easy to love. But the truth is that it is only hard to love when we are so focussed on the other things in someones life that we forget that what matters is the Jesus in them. You could dye your hair green and they could dye theirs pink. You could like metal and they could like folk but if your heart cries out for Jesus and their heart cries out for Jesus you won't be able to help but have everything in common.

2009-01-30T06:34:00.000-08:00

Pray for the cholera epidemic in Zimbabwe.

Right now, Zimbabwe is reeling from the worst cholera epidemic* on the African continent in over a decade, one that has already infected more than 50,000 people, more than half of whom are children. Already the disease has killed over 2,700.

Dietrich Bonhoffer on real grace:

2009-01-28T20:13:00.000-08:00

Cheap grace is the deadly enemy of our Church. We are fighting today for costly grace. Cheap grace means grace sold on the market like cheapjacks’ wares. The sacraments, the forgiveness of sin, and the consolations of religion are thrown away at cut prices. Grace is represented as the Church’s inexhaustible treasury, from which she showers blessings with generous hands, without asking questions orfixing limits. Grace without price; grace without cost! The essence of grace, we suppose, is that the account has been paid in advance; and, because it has been paid, everything can be had for nothing.... 45
Cheap grace means grace as a doctrine, a principle, a system. It means forgiveness of sins proclaimed as a general truth, the love of God taught as the Christian 'conception' of God. An intellectual assent to that idea is held to be of itself sufficient to secure remission of sins.... In such a Church the world finds a cheap covering for its sins; no contrition is required, still less any real desire to be delivered from sin. Cheap grace therefore amounts to a denial of the living Word of God, in fact, a denial of the Incarnation of the Word of God. 45-46
Cheap grace means the justification of sin without the justification of the sinner. Grace alone does everything they say, and so everything can remain as it was before. 'All for sin could not atone.' Well, then, let the Christian live like the rest of the world, let him model himself on the world’s standards in every sphere of life, and not presumptuously aspire to live a different life under grace from his old life under sin....
Cheap grace is the grace we bestow on ourselves. Cheap grace is the preaching of forgiveness without requiring repentance, baptism without church discipline, Communion without confession.... Cheap grace is grace without discipleship, grace without the cross, grace without Jesus Christ, living and incarnate. 47
Costly grace is the treasure hidden in the field; for the sake of it a man’ will gladly go and self all that he has. It is the pearl of great price to buy which the merchant will sell all his goods. It is the kingly rule of Christ, for whose sake a man will pluck out the eye which causes him to stumble, it is the call of Jesus Christ at which the disciple leaves his nets and follows him.
Costly grace is the gospel which must be sought again and again and again, the gift which must be asked for, the door at which a man must knock. Such grace is costly because it calls us to follow, and it is grace because it calls us to follow Jesus Christ. It is costly because it costs a man his life, and it is grace because it gives a man the only true life. It is costly because it condemns sin, and grace because it justifies the sinner. Above all, it is costly because it cost God the life of his Son: “ye were bought at a price,” and what has cost God much cannot be cheap for us. Above all, it is grace because God did not reckon his Son too dear a price to pay for our life, but delivered him up for us. Costly grace is the Incarnation of God.
Costly grace is the sanctuary of God; it has to be protected from the world, and not thrown to the dogs. It is therefore the living word, the Word of God, which he speaks as it pleases him. Costly grace confronts us as a gracious call to follow Jesus. It comes as a word of forgiveness to the broken spirit and the contrite heart. Grace is costly because it compels a man to submit to the yoke of Christ and follow him; it is grace because Jesus says: “My yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

A very beautiful song:

2009-01-28T20:11:00.000-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QujJlmGxges

The Fat Spirit

2009-01-28T19:56:00.000-08:00

This is what I preached on last Sunday. The dream was a dream God gave Danielle Strickland. The analogy of the car and of the women is S.O.S. are also from her. God is teaching me this- the fat spirit, can seem so harmless, just a little bit of comfort, just a little bit of rest. But this kind of rest, is rest away from, outside of God and that is far from harmless. We have to fight the temptation to rest in the comforts of this world and of our western culture. The way God is calling me to fight is by tithing my time. By getting up early and setting 10 percent of my time for him, which is 2:40 hrs. What is He calling you to do?

Dream:My friend went through a doorway but on the doorway there was a spider wed with a fat hairy spider. She didn’t see it, and before she know it, it had bitten her. Suddenly she got really sleeping and tired. In the room there was a cot and she lay down but she became paralyzed, yet was still away. Then these little spiders began to fill the room and attack her. Even though she was awake on the inside, because she was paralyzed she couldn’t fight them off and she ended up being consumed by them.
T
his fat hairy spider is what my friend calls the fat spirit and it represents the world. It is a Spirit that is very large and prevalent in this Western world that we live in and many have been bitten by it

Even in the name we get a hint of what this spirit is about. It’s about fatness, richness, being full, not going in want (in the way that the world wants). It’s about greed, and lust for more, and stuff, and status and it’s about comfort. It represents the World and in Luke 8.14 we are warned that the World’s pleasures, worries and riches can choke God’s life out of us, leaving no place for growth to happen:

‘The seed that fell among thorns stands for those who hear, but as they go on their way they are choked by life's worries, riches and pleasures, and they do not mature.’

The warning in the dream that my friend had was just that, just as the verse talks about not maturing, the fat spirit left my friend in a stagnant place where she couldn’t grow, fight or move.
Poisonous spiders don’t just do damage with there teeth, but they poison and pollute the person, the poison gets into the blood and pretty soon, if not treated, it makes its way through all of the person’s blood stream, infecting not just one area, but the whole person. There is a reason why we are commanded in the Word to keep ourselves unspotted from the World. It is because when we don’t, when we allow the World to take a bit out of us, to have a piece of us, when we are not alert and don’t protect ourselves from the poison of this world, we will become infected with the World and the spirit of the World.

Just to let you know, it is a lie that you can control sin. Sin will control you. You cannot allow sin into your life in just one area and expect it to not affect all of who you are. It will pollute you, choke you and paralyze you.

But maybe that isn’t the way that the fat spider will bite you, maybe it comes by just becoming immune to sin, even if we are not taking part of it ourselves. Maybe we just become so influenced by our culture that we are lethargic, numb and too paralyzed to make a difference, to fight, and to be used effectively for God.

The warning in the dream was that it was when she became tired and lethargic that she lay down to sleep and then because she became paralyzed, she couldn’t fight and ended up being consumed. We have to fight the temptation to sleep! It may start by just numbing us a little bit, it may start by us seeking God a little less, or seeking to be used by Him a little less, but just as spider poison spreads through the blood so will the poison of the world and if we allow ourselves to sleep, if we give up, if we cease to fight, we shall be consumed.

If we have fallen asleep of if we are becoming numb we have to wake up. Richard Baxter was quoted, saying: ‘if their houses were on fire, thou wouldst run and help them; and will thou not help them when their souls are almost at the fire of hell?’

Just because we cannot see danger with our physical eye, does not mean it is any less real, or any less serious. If you were about to fall asleep at the wheel driving you would not go without a fight, we need to fight just as hard to stay awake spiritually.

Let’s think about some of the things you might do to try and not fall asleep at the wheel. You might do some crazy things. Things that aren’t comfortable and that you wouldn’t really do for the fun of it but at that point you realize the importance of not falling asleep and will do whatever it takes to stay awake and not crash. Windows down, head out of the window, music blasting etc.
What are the uncomfortable things that you need to do awake from your spiritual slumber? Are you prepared to step outside of your comfort zone? Do you ask God to stretch your comfort zone, to move you further on in your faith? Do you look for opportunities to share the good news of the gospel? What place does reading the Word, and fasting have in your life? ( fasting- thoughts etc) How hard are you fighting on your knees?

John Wesley- Bear up the hands that hang down, by faith and prayer support the tottering knees. Have you any days of fasting and prayer? Storm the throne of grace and persevere therein and mercy will come down.

Revelation 8.3-5 we have a visual picture of the power of prayer:3 Then another angel, having a golden censer, came and stood at the altar. He was given much incense, that he should offer it with the prayers of all the saints upon the golden altar which was before the throne. 4 And the smoke of the incense, with the prayers of the saints, ascended before God from the angel’s hand. 5 Then the angel took the censer, filled it with fire from the altar, and threw it to the earth. And there were noises, thunderings, lightnings, and an earthquake.’
Faithful prayer has a powerful effect. There is a battle going on to keep us off our knees but as 1 Tim 6.12 says ‘fight the good fight of the Faith’. Don’t give up, don’t stop seeking, don’t stop crying out, seek Him until…seek him until, seek him until you find him, seek him until you find him in every area of your life.

James Gilmour (missionary in Mongolia) warned against resting in this world too much and instead, encouraged Christians to not be satisfied with anything less than all that God has for us –
‘Do we not rest in our day to much on the arm of flesh? Can not the same wonders be done now as of old? Do not the eyes of the Lord still run too and through the whole earth to show himself strong on behalf of those who put their trust in Him? Oh, that God would give me more practical faith in Him! Where is now the Lord God of Elijah? He is waiting for Elijah to call on Him’

We are called to seek God:
HOSEA 10.12 (A)Sow with a view to righteousness, Reap in accordance with kindness; (B)Break up your fallow ground, For it is time to (C)seek the LORD Until He (D)comes to (E)rain righteousness on you.

The young lions lack and suffer hunger; But those who seek the LORD shall not lack any good thing. Ps 34.10

And those who know Your name will put their trust in You; For You, LORD, have not forsaken those who seek You. Ps 9.10

What will be the results of us seeking?

Ps 107.9 ‘For he satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things’

Ps 22.26 ‘The poor will eat and be satisfied; they that seek the Lord will praise Him’

Ps 63.5 ‘My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods; with singing lips my lips will praise you’

Ps 34.5 ‘Those who look to Him are radiant. Their faces are never covered in shame’

Ps 40.16 ‘But may all who seeks you rejoice and be glad in you; may those who love your salvation always say, “The Lord be exalted”.

Jeremiah 29.13 ‘You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart’

Michael Brown says: “ The struggle is for your faith. Persistent prayer is the ultimate combat zone. Israel would not be saved without it. The world would not be evangelized without it. The church would not become spotless without it. A passing petition or a fleeting prayer will not bring these things about! But no faith of prayer is ever in vain. No doubt this nation is in a wretched state. No doubt, the world as a whole is growing darker. No doubt our race staggers from disaster to disaster. The need has never been greater. But this is not the time for depression and hopeless despair. It is the time for the church to finally be the church: the living embodiment of the Son of God, “the fullness of Him who fills everything in everyway” It is time for the Lord to get himself glory. He will gain glory though each of us. As Catherine Booth said, “The waters are rising but so am I. I am not going under, but over”.
The world whether it knows it or not is counting on you and me. There is no other source that offers true healing outside of the people of God. Of course the task before us is impossible and whether we are fighting against the spread of pornography or working to alleviate hunger, whether our burden is foreign missions or home evangelism, whether our ministry is healing the sick, or setting free, drug addicts, there is only one place to go: to our knees, saints! On your faces, children of God! To the place of prayer, holy intercessors! Seek him always! Seek him with tears! Seek Him earnestly!Psalm 63.1 says’ O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water.
Hunger and thirst for the Lord. Long for Him with a love sick heart. Let it be known by your prayer life that you cannot and will not live without more- radically more- of God.”

In Songs of Songs we have this picture of the woman sleeping and her lover comes and knocks for her but she hesitates- you see it’s messy and uncomfortable- she is already in bed, must she goes through getting out of bed and getting changed? But she gets up and she pursues him. The women went through a lot before she found her love but even in the hardships and the pain, she didn’t go back to bed, she was fully alive!

God is knocking; he is trying to waken us from the slumber. He has love and life to give. It is hearing the knock and pursuing God. Will we get up, will we fight, will we pursue? Will we seek?

Will we arise, and like Catherine Booth said, instead of drowning in our sleepiness, will we rise above, when the waves come?

The hunger for God should never fade.

2008-02-17T12:10:00.000-08:00

' If you don't feel strong desires for the manifestation for the glory of God it is not because you have drunk deeply and are satified. It is because you have nibbled so long at the table of the world' - John Piper

Heaven. How much do we want it?

2008-02-17T12:07:00.000-08:00

‘Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.’

We live in a world all about seeing and touching and feeling and having and owning and proving; a world all about now . Having now, satifying now, seeing now, touching now, owning now. Why spend hours cooking when you can just buy it ready and have it now? Why be slow to speak when you can just blurt out what you want to say now and let off steam and apologies later? Why wait till you get married to have sex when you can just have it now? Why worry about the consequences of life when you can just live how you want now? Why think about heaven when you can see earth now?
If you read Hebrews chapter 11 you will realise that, yes it’s all about faith, but more than that, it’s all about heaven, eternity, the hope that that is, the bigger picture.. Having faith that the bigger picture actually exists…
It’s about Abraham longing for and believing in a city with foundations where the builder and architect was God, even though he spent his life as a nomad, as a stranger in a foreign land, living in tents in a place where the streets deffinety where not made of gold. Despite this, he didn’t just hope for something more but he believed in it, he was sure and confident of it and because of that he journeyed on.
It’s about Moses who saw past the luxuries offered to him as the pharaoh’s daughter’s son and chose to see the sin and injustice surrounding him and to see the Lord calling him to rise above. It’d about Moses knowing that there are greater things beckoning him than the riches surrounding him in Egypt. It’s about him having so much faith and hope in that that he is able to take on the disgrace in the hope of the coming Messiah.
It’s about not being satified with what the world offers, it’s about seeing past what’s being offered on the plate and getting up, not just making do with what the world is serving you. But it’s not just about despairingly wanting more and feeling unsatisfied. It’s about a continuous hunger and longing for more, receiving from the Lord and being sustained to continue forwards. It’s about refusing to believe that what we see is all there is. Refusing to believe that pain is all there is, that hunger will have the last word, that war will have the last word, that injustice will have the last word, that lies will always deceive…
It’s about being ok with not being of the world, being ok with being an alien, being ok with sticking out, surrending to the fact that we are different and stopping trying to be accepted at the expensive of pleasing the Lord. Being ok with this because we have the hope written in our hearts that there is a better country, a country where we have come from, a place where we will never again experience the feeling of being rejected or alienated. A place where we will experience complete and utter acceptance. It’s about not giving in to the things of this world but continuously seeking for a better country. Seeking to bring heaven to earth.

‘ and for them God is not ashamed to be called their God for he has prepared a city for them’

It’s about wanting it enough and not allowing any substitutes to numb the hunger, or to blind us, no matter how painful the longing and hunger can be, no matter how long and hard the journey may be. And it’s about believing that you hunger and hope and longing will be fulfilled.

keep your eyes to the skies!!!

2007-10-08T19:24:00.000-07:00

Acts 7 .55 'but Stephen full of the Holy Spirit, looked up to heaven and saw the glory of God, and Jesus standing at the right hand of God. Look he said 'I see heaven open and the Son of God standing at the right hand of God.'

Even in the face of death and chaoes, even when surrounded by the enemy and pressed on all esides, Stephen was still looking above, still looking to the Lord, continually seeking the face of Jesus and not looking away and being lost in the fears and storms around him. C.S. Lewis talked about how when we look up to heaven , and when we keep our thoughts towards heaven it completely affects the way we walk on this earth. Before we can get to the place where Stephen was, of being completelyt focussed on the Glory of God that death pales and fades away because all he see if Jesus, before we get to that place we need to have our heads raised high to the sky in every situation of our lives, in the little stressful moments and in the darkest hours may we keep out eyes raised towards the heavens and may the Lord protect our eyes from being blinded by the thick darkness, but instead may we look up and see the glory of the Lord.

2007-10-08T17:53:00.000-07:00

18 "Yet even in those days," declares the LORD, "I will not destroy you completely. 19 And when the people ask, 'Why has the LORD our God done all this to us?' you will tell them, 'As you have forsaken me and served foreign gods in your own land, so now you will serve foreigners in a land not your own.'
20 "Announce this to the house of Jacob and proclaim it in Judah:
21 Hear this, you foolish and senseless people, who have eyes but do not see, who have ears but do not hear:
22 Should you not fear me?" declares the LORD. "Should you not tremble in my presence? I made the sand a boundary for the sea, an everlasting barrier it cannot cross. The waves may roll, but they cannot prevail; they may roar, but they cannot cross it.
23 But these people have stubborn and rebellious hearts; they have turned aside and gone away.
24 They do not say to themselves, 'Let us fear the LORD our God, who gives autumn and spring rains in season, who assures us of the regular weeks of harvest.'
25 Your wrongdoings have kept these away; your sins have deprived you of good.

I am sure we all remember September 11th and the questions it aroused. People from all over the world were crying out for answers and one of the biggest questions was why would a loving and powerful God let this happen? Where was He? Where was his love? These were the same questions that Israel cried out to God. They cried out and asked why the Lord did this to them. And the response is this: They had ceased to fear the Lord, they had turned their backs on him, they had forgotten all he had done and had committed adultery and idolitry with other gods, they had chosen gods of wood and stone instead of the Lord God Almighty. And then they wonder why these things were happening.

It is exactly the same today. Just after September 11th in a press conference the question ''Where was God when this happened?' was asked. Silence came over everyone and no one knew what to say. Until Ruth Graham, Billy Graham's wife, spoke out. We have seperated God from the state, we have pushed Him out of the schools, we have pushed him out of our homes, out of our lives and yet we will allow him back in in the face of trouble only to push him out again as soon as we are ok on our own, and then we blame Him for the wrongs in this world, ignoring God's own word which says that it is peoples wrongdoing and sin that deprives us of good.

Draw near to God and he will draw near to you.

2007-08-10T18:51:00.001-07:00

Lord set me on fire and let me burn!

I want a holistic gospel!

2007-08-07T17:49:00.000-07:00

I am being come and more aware of how much we (humans) have sought to mold and control Christianity in the way that we hammer parts of the Bible and tend not to like to look to closely at other parts. I was in a bible study the other day we happened to look at psalm 37 and immediately I saw verse four; 'delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart'. As soon as I saw it I said something like 'well, everyone knows that verse'. And it's true, most Christians you meet can quote that verse to you. But as soon as i said this i wondered 'why?'. Why this verse? And my answer is because even in our Christianity (which is meant be all about love and others and sacrifice and selflessness, even death to self) we are selfish! We want comfort! We want assurance! We want blessings! Don't get me wrong, blessings and assurance from God is good! God tells us in his word that he wants to bless and love on us, he desires that He alone and His word will be our assurance. But his word also tells us that we need to look after the widows and the orphans, that we need to daily pick up our cross, that we need to be holy as God is holy, that if we dont obey God we don't love him, that we are to be slaves to righteousness, that if we dont remain in him we are like a branch that is plucked out and thrown into the fire and burned, that we need to love our enemies, that we need to turn our cheek and let the person who slapped our left cheek slap our right cheek too, and the list goes on.

I want a holistic Gospel!

The Standard

2007-08-05T12:56:00.000-07:00

Jesus set the bar for us. He set the bar, showing us what the standard is that God requires. But church has lowered the standard, men came and bit by bit the strandard has been lowered and lowered until almost anyone can just walk right over the bar, it's that low! Now almost anyone can be a 'Christian' i mean what does it actually mean? That you go to church once a week? that you were baptised? That you said the prayer for salvation at some point in your life? Or does it actually mean that you are a little Christ, that you are imitating Christ, that you are a slave to righteousness? A slave! A slave to righteousness. Slaves don't obey their masters when they feel like it, thats what they do, thay are in continual obedience to their masters.

God never changed the bar. God is never changing. It is men who change and compromise not God. To him the bar is still as high as it ever was and it is his bar and not the worlds that we need to be reaching. After all, it is God and not man who will be judging us on that final day! It seems so easy to be a Christian today but we look in the Bible and it sure didn't seem like a breeze for them! They were stoned to death, shipwrecked, put in prisons, crucified, beaten, given to lions, put in fires, ran out of towns.... It is a sacrifice, it is going against everything that the world is saying is ok, it is seeking to be an imitator of EVERYTHING that Christ was. But today some 'Christians' can't even give up cigarettes for God, never mind give up their lives for God.

psalm 63

2007-08-01T20:48:00.000-07:00

O God, you are my God,
Lord, you alone are my God and there is no other.You alone are the one I choose to serve and worship, you alone are the one I will seek to please. May my whole life display your glory and cry out that you alone are God, that you alone are the one I follow. May it be obvious that the gods of the world are not the gods of me.
earnestly I seek after you;
May I seek after you, really seek, seek out your way, seek out what is right and not just go along with whatever is presented to me. May I seek you out, even in the darkness, may I remember and cling on to your promises that there is always hope and his name is Jesus and may I seek you out, even in the darkest times. May i not be so overwhelmed that all i see is evil and despair but may I seek you out and find you.
my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you,
May every part of me thirst and long for you Lord. It takes no time at all for people to get physically hungry and thirst. We understand our physical needs so well and we give our body what we need. We feed ourselves three times a day, we make sure people drink lots of water. Yet we know that our earthly body is just temporary, it is the condition of our soul that really matters, it is the condition of our soul that is going to depend on where we spend eternity and yet we feed our body so much and so often starve our spirit, our soul. Lord may we thirst and hunger after you and your righteousness, may we understand how much we need your Word as our food and may be hunger for me, for more of you.
In a dry and weary land where there is no water
Lord whether we are going through hardship and are in a desert, or whether the sun is shining down, may we always thirst after you as if we were in a dry and waery land where there is no water. May we alwatys be aware of our immense need for you.
2 I have seen you in the sanctuary and beheld your power and your glory.
You are so glorious and poverful and yet you allow us to see you, you allow us to converse with you, to be friends with you! You reveal your power and glory to us and yet we still turn away! We still get distracted by other things! Have mercy on us Lord! May we not be blinded by the enemy and by the god if this age but keep the veil removed from our eyes so that we may see you and your glory and power always!
3 Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you.
Your love is better than life. Better is one day in your court than a thousand elsewhere. May my lips glorify you no matter the cost because your love is better than life. Even if it costs me this life here may i choose to glorify you. Help me noe to glorify you no matter what, may i learn to always choose you now, even in the little things. May i choose to share the gospel to people even when I am afraid of the reaction and in this may i declare ;your love is better than life!' I have to be able to do this in the little things for me to be able to do that is the big things- to choose to glorify you even if it costs me my life if that circumstance arises.
4 I will praise you as long as I live, and in your name I will lift up my hands.
5 My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods; with singing lips my mouth will praise you.
Yes Lord we are to hunger and thirst but you promises to satify! And you are so much more satify than anything the world can ever offer us! You last, you are eternal, your food, your water will last forever! And your blessings, love and friendship is rich, oh so rich!
6 On my bed I remember you; I think of you through the watches of the night.
You mean more to me that food! You mean more to me than sleep! May you Lord be the one I dream about, dwell on , think about, may you be the one who consumes my mind!
7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.
Yes Lord, you are our help. May I run to you as my help before i run to anything else, may you always be the one than i run to, may i run to you for comfort before i run to firends, may i run to you and your Word for wisdom before i ask other people opinions, may i run to you for guidance and not just go along with pther people. And by doing that may i know the comfort of the shadow of your wings, may i allow you to comfort me, may i allow myself to dwell in the shadow of your wings.
8 My soul clings to you;
I need to cling to you Lord. I want to cling to you, life is big and scary without I aknowledge that i not some big queen than can conquor on my own, i need you, i cling to you, my soul clings to you.
Your right hand upholds me;
The hand that holds the world, the hand that designed the stars, that same hand holds me!
9 They who seek my life will be destroyed; they will go down to the depths of the earth.
10 They will be given over to the sword and become food for jackals.
11 But the king will rejoice in God; all who swear by God's name will praise him, while the mouths of liars will be silenced.
May you never have to silience me but may the words from my mouth be life sweet honey to you, may they be a pleasing fragrance, may they glorify you Lord. Amen.

being beautiful

2007-07-30T22:11:00.000-07:00

Below in the lyrics of a song i recently wrote. The theme has been pressing on me for a long time but for some reason, until recently, my mind would go blank when i tried to express it on paper. It is about being set apart for Christ as a bride is set apart for her bridegroom. It is about the exclusive love for your lover, it is about having our eyes fully fixed on Him and not allowing moving our eyes onto others and loosing Jesus as out number one focus, it is about longing to be beautiful to God, instead of longing to be beautiful to man.

Even after I wrote the song, God still had to correct me. He showed me that part of me longs to be made truly beautiful inside so that people will see, so that people will be attracted to my character, to who i really am. This isn't what it's about. No part of my motivation can be self seeking. It can't be about recognition or affection from others. It is not about God making me beautiful for others and for opinions. It is about longing to be beautiful for him, my First Love.

My heart longs, my soul aches
To be beautiful to you
More than anything else, above all opinions
I choose to be beautiful before you
I need to, I crave to, I long to, i ache to
Show me what beauty is
Show me what beauty is to you, oh Lord, to you

Cuz I've wasted enough time striving for acceptance
I have exhausted myself seeking to win affection
I have dreamed enough dreams of cinderella stories
Now I'm done, I have had it, I let go

Wasted energies chasing after wantings
Ignored the faithful one who has walked right beside me
You Lord, who have longed for my heart all along
So now I'm done, I have had it, I let go

So I say no to chasing other's love and affection
No to all energy spent on outward perfection
I say no to finding my value in people's opinion
And I say yes, I say yes to you

I say yes to your love, I say yes to you heart
Yes, I say yes to your heart and I give you mine
And I say yes to your love, I say yes to your heart
Yes, I say yes to your heart, and I give you mine
And I'm looking straight down the aisle now
Not looking to the left, not looking to the right
I'm looking straight down the aisle now
And all I see is you, yes all I see is you......

Because I want to be beautiful to you
Yes I want to be beautiful to you
I want to be beautiful to you
Yes I want to be beautiful to you
Make my heart beautiful
Make my heart beautiful
Make my heart beautiful
Make my heart beautiful

VBS

2007-07-28T22:14:00.000-07:00

VBS is now finished. Apart from the special service on Sunday where I have to lead the kids in a song i taught them. It's kinda complicated with a round of three parts and there like 80 kids so its really crazy so i'm not too sure on how that will go but we will see! Anyways it was an awesome week. It went really smoothly. 40 kids got saved! Praise the Lord! We didnt have any big problems or fights. No one got banned. Shimei and I brought a bunch from the chelter which was really cool as normally the kids from the shelter really don't come on any of the church stuff. Two of the kids from the shelter wanted to come to church so badlt on Sunday but there mother works at 7 am. They didnt stopped pestering there mum and so me and Shimei are baby sitting them from 6.30am tomorrow moring before church! haha. Friday we took all the kids swimmingh to an outdoors pool. The kids loved it and it was alot of fun for me too! here are a few pics.

As for me, I ain't winking at sin no more!

2007-07-28T21:30:00.000-07:00

So I watched a preach the other day from the Brownsville revival and it was called God ain't winking at sin no more. This whole summer God has been teaching me about not compromising and he has been examining my heart and revealing ways that I have compromised my faith and been completely blind to it. This preach was just another part of that, more if the refining flames, burning up the dross, burning up the compromising and refining. It talks in the Word about how there was a time where God over looked our sin, he over looked our ignorance. He winked at our ignorance and because of that overlooked our sin. But that time is over, God is not winking at sin anymore, he cannot over look our ignorance because we are not ignorant! We know. Whether it is that we have heard the gospel preached, whether it is that we have read the Word, whether it is that we have experienced the reconciliation with God and his friendship ourself..... whatever it is we are not ignorant. We know and when we wink at sin we know what we are doing. If you are married man and working at your office and wink at a lady and she winks back, you are winking at sin. There is a message going out saying ' i see you, i am interested in you, you see me, you are interested in me'. It is dangerous waters, it is stepping out of faithfulness, it is winking at sin. And so often we do this we wink at sin. The church in general is winking at sin. And God is saying there was a time where I saw you winking at sin and i overlooked it, i winked at your ignorance but not any more! The compromising has the stop! The winking has to stop! Some things are obvious, smoking, getting drunk, sexual impurity, course language, inappropiate clothing etc. Lots of us have no problem keeping those kind of things. The obvious things, the 'big' things, the things we have been brought up being told not to do. See, those things are more obvious they are more like is you are married and you kiss the woman at the office. Obviously you cheated on your wife. But winking, winking is more subtle, winking can be covered up or 'justified'. It's like that with us and God. These are some sins that we commit and it's obvious that we were unfaithful, that we cheated on God. But what about the more subtle winking? When we allow ourselves to wink, just a little wink at sin thats's where the compromising starts. The world is so compromised and the church is so compromised that we often don't even realise that we have been compromising. That's why we are called to renew our minds. Our minds need renewing, they need wash, to wash away all that we have thought is ok, all that we have justified. What about movies? What about music? What about friends? What about going to a club, being surrounded by sin- the sexual dancing, the drunkness, the ungoldly music and just just going for fun, for a nice night out and not getting drunk- can you really say you are not winking at sin? Can you really say you are not comproming, can you really say that while you are there your mind is still being able to continually being renewed and to become into more and more alignment with God's own thoughts? ( by the way i used to go clubbing, i used to drink and not get drunk, and in all that i was winking at sin, and it is only recently that I realised this and have stopped). What movies, do you watch? What music do you listen to? What places do you hang out at? And what does all this say about you? do the standards that you have show your faithfulness to God or does it show compromise? At the moment I am rethinking my own standards- the movies i watch, the music i listen to etc. What areas of your life do you need to rethink? Are there places where you have been winking at sin? As we live in a corrupt and compromised world are there areas of your life that you have allowed to be compromised?

The victims of 'choice'

2007-07-25T18:43:00.000-07:00

Don't look at these pictures and tell me this isn't a real person. Don't look at these pictures and tell me that these are just cells or tissue. We say its just a 'fetus' but do we even know what the word 'fetus' means? Fetus isn't something before they become a baby. Fetus is a medical word for a stage of life. The word is used for babies in the womb from the 10 week of pregancy till birth. It is like 'infant' or 'teenager'. An infant is still a child, we just call them an infant because that is the stage of life that they are in, it is the same with a fetus. The only reason people call all unborn babies fetus' is to ease their conscience, to justify their decision. Have you ever noticed how a mother who is pregant and wantsa the child call the child a baby right from the time they know they are pregant. No one stops them, no one corrests them and tells them its a fetus. But suddenly if you dont want your child its not a baby anymore, it suddenly becomes a fetus!!!!!

It scares me to see how deceived the world is. How can we come to a place where this is seen as ok, where this is legal, where it is our 'choice'. How can anyone look at these pictures and say this is right?! As i look at these pictures it scares me to think of all the people that actually beleive this is ok. It reminds me of how much people are really blinded by the ' God is this age' as the Word tells us. It comes on me like a force making me pray, making me cry out for truth to come, for the deceived to be set free and for the truth to expose the lies.

Do we really pray for this, do we really pray for the end of this horriffic injustice? Do we really pray for conviction to come to the doctors that do this, to the woman that have this, to the governments that ok this? Do we pray fro the organisations that are fighting against this, that they will seek God's will and really be guided by him in how to be right and be stratigic and not do it their own way. Do we pray that they will be granted favour from the Lord? Do we pray for the woman that they will here God's voice louder than they hear the world's? What about for the woman that have done this, lots of themdecived, not knowing the full facts, living with guilt and regret? Do we pray frot heir salvation, forgiveness andf healing? Do we pray that God raises these woman up to tell others the truth?

I am reminded and convicted for the selfishness in us, in me. Yes, I pray for this, but do i REALLY pray? Do i pray as if these where my children? We are called to love EVERYONE and yet because we don't know these babies, because we dont see these abortions happen we dont give it everything we have to change it, we dont respond the way it would if iyt is our children. But these are God's children and he calls us to fight for justice to stand up for the poor, the vunerable, the weak. How more vunerable can you get than a baby, unable to speak that doesnt have any kind of choice what so ever!!?? Just because we arent seeing this face to face or because we dont know these babies does not make it ok for us to sit back and not do anything!!

Let our heart's be wise

2007-07-20T10:30:00.000-07:00

Proverbs 23.15 ' my son if your heart is wise, then your heart will be glad'. This proverb was a real encouragement to me today. As I read it it really hit me and was reminded of the different decisions i have made this year through wisdom, and decisions i am in the process of making. Often my heart doesn't feel glad when i step out and make these decisions but the verse doesn;t says ; your heart is glad' it says ' your heart will be glad'. I can look back and my heart is glad that i was wise and obedient to God and yet it can still be hard, sometimes i still want what I want but wisdom speaks to me and says' Holly, you know better, you know better than that, you know what you need to do, you know God's promises are true and his instructions good, you know better than to wonder 'what if?' or to dwell in self pity. Deep down my heart is glad because i know that i know that i know that God's wisdom is right and good and true and the best thing for me. And i know that in the future as i look back and as my life continues to come into being and as i see the way God works things out that i will look back and my heart will leap with gladness that i followed the wisdom of God.

tatooed

2007-07-14T19:32:00.001-07:00

Well i finally got a tatoo after years of talking about it. The heart is the Father's heart pierced earch time his children turn away from his perfect love, pierced because of their sin and becasue only he knows the full consequences that the dissobience can have, pierced when his children choose less than the fullness that he deeply desires each person to walk in, and pierced for his own son who he sacrificed so that even after the pain his creation has caused him, he might be reconciled with them again. The crown of thorns and the cross is Jesus. His sacrificial love, the thorns reminds me of all the pain that Jesus endured, not just on that final day but for 33 years. We sin, the world chooses sin again and again and we get hurt because of it. But Jesus didn't have to hurt, he didn't have to suffer, he didn't have to endure these things. He chose to.The fire is the Holy Spirit, the power of the Lord, the fire that God desires to lite all our hearts with. The fire that we need to have all our fuel, the fire we need to spread to others, like a forrest fire.

God is in control

2007-07-09T10:26:00.000-07:00

So i am a massive Francine Rivers fan. i absolutely love her writing. I finsihed reading Leota's Garden yesterday. Now i am not the most emotional person in the world, and i dont always show my pain by tears but books get me. I can often express emotion towards a book bettter than towards real life! This was one of those occassions. The book is all about this elderly lady called Leota who is completelt estranged from her two children who are now grownup. The whole story is of reconciliation, hope and forgiveness. Leota's daughter has a really twisted view of what went on when she was little and there was alot of sacrifices that leota made that she never knew about. Anyways Leota's daughter's daughter ( her granddaughter) loved her grandmother dearly and looks after her despite her mothers anger about this. During the whole book you are waiting for the reconciliation to hgappen and then Leota dies! I couldnt believe it! Her daughter had just found out the truth, she has just found out the extent of her mothers love and she didnt even have time to get to the mother and tell her she loved her. Some stupid young medic guy at the hosptial thought he was doing Leota a favor by killing her with an injection and putting her out of her misery! I was so angery, i even cried out to God ( i get a little carried away wiyth books), i just didnt understand, it didnt make any sense to me. the reconciliation was so cvlose, leota had waited all her life for that moment, and then she was gone!

What God spoke to me was that he was still God and that no matter what things happen THROUGH them, somtimes even inspite of them, he works for the good of those who love him. God is big enough that even death doesnt stop him, he still brought love and forgivenss and reconsiliation to that family. He is in control.

Rubbish In, Rubbish Out

2007-07-07T18:31:00.000-07:00

There is a problem witht he church as a whole and the problem is that the body doesnt always match up witht the head. Colossians ch1.18 tells us that Christ is the head and we ( the church) are the body. As a body we need to be moving together and the Bible gives clear instructions in the way to move. i am not talking about all the little theology debates we can get stuck on, im talking about the basic instructions. The body needs to match up as a head, but as a whole we often don't. When we water down the gospel, when we skip out certain teachings saying that they don't fit with our generation, when we compromise our faith in exchange for the ways of the world we don't match up with Christ (the head). instead we cause the body which is meant to be a beautiful body, made up of all God's children from all nations, of all tongues, and of course completed with chrsit himself as the head, it is a beautiful picture but when we don't match up with the head, when we go our own way we send this beautiful body into a spasim as it is pulled in all directions. If christ is the head he is also the brain and the brain instructions the other parts of the body in the way to move. the other parts of the body awaits the brain for instructions and surrenders to those instructions. That is what the church is called to do. That is what we need to be doing, all the time. But how do we get there and how do we stay there?

It all goes back to rubbish in, rubbish out.It is about what we are putting into ourselves because whatever goes in has to come out.
Matthew 12.33-37 says: 33"Make a tree good and its fruit will be good, or make a tree bad and its fruit will be bad, for a tree is recognized by its fruit. 34You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. 35The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him. 36But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken. 37For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned."

What comes out of us, how fruitful and productive we are on this earth is all detemined by what is in us, by the condition of our hearts. It cannot be an outward working but it starts with our hearts. We are called to glorify God, we are called to produce good fruit, we are called to make a difference, to be salt and light to be a bright shining shar in a crooked and debraved world but to do all this, to live a life worthy of our calling our hears have to be right. Our hearts have to be clean and inline with God's own heart. The way that we keep and maintain a clean heart, inline with God's own is by storing up goodness in our heart and by guarding our hearts fromanything that would corrupt and pollute our hearts. Because rubbish in, rubbish out!

Let's look at the church of corinth. This church had massive potential but it became known for it's sexual sins. There were some issues they needs to deal with. Here are a few of their issues:

lack of maturity as Christians (1 Cor 3.1-3)
division and lack of unity within the church (1 Cor 3.3-4)
sexual impurity (1 Cor 5)
association (1cor 5.9-11 and 2 Cor 11.3-5)

We are going to look at the last one, associasion, because thats where all the others stem from.

2Cor 11.3-5: But I am afraid that just as Eve was deceived by the serpent's cunning, your minds may somehow be led astray from your sincere and pure devotion to Christ. 4For if someone comes to you and preaches a Jesus other than the Jesus we preached, or if you receive a different spirit from the one you received, or a different gospel from the one you accepted, you put up with it easily enough.

Instead of influencing others the church of Corinth is the one being influenced. In 1 Cor 5 we see how they are not guarding their hearts at all they are not using wisdom in who to associate with and it has affected them and corrupted their hearts. And in the second book the same problem is there and sure enough paul's fear is that their hearts will be corrupted because they are not guarding their hearts but are compromising and allowing anything into them, even false teaching.and rubbish in, rubbish out!

Maybe the church of Corith thought they were strong enough, that they would be ok, that they didnt need to guard their hearts but for generations and generations God has been warning his people to not compromise and to not put their selves in places of temptation. God tells Moses in Exodus 34.12-17:

12 Be careful not to make a treaty with those who live in the land where you are going, or they will be a snare among you. 13 Break down their altars, smash their sacred stones and cut down their Asherah poles. [a] 14 Do not worship any other god, for the LORD, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God.
15 "Be careful not to make a treaty with those who live in the land; for when they prostitute themselves to their gods and sacrifice to them, they will invite you and you will eat their sacrifices. 16 And when you choose some of their daughters as wives for your sons and those daughters prostitute themselves to their gods, they will lead your sons to do the same.
17 "Do not make cast idols.

God was warning them so that their hearts were not corrupted. he knew that if they made a treaty they would compromise. He didnt even get them to leave it at not making a treaty. No, they had to smash allt he idols. These werent even their idols but they still have to be smashed, anything that could corrupt had to go. The Israelites could of thought, 'these arent our idols, we will just ignore them and let them be' They could of been like the Corinthians that passively let anything go on. It didnt matter that the idols werent theirs they still had to go. What are the idols around you? what are the things in your life that have the potential to corrupt your heart? It is easy to think that we wont be affected but the corinthiansd were so what makes us think we won't be? what needs to be smashed today?

We need to guard out hearts from worldliness ( my definition of worldliness id that which kills affection towards god), but not just that we need to store goodness up in our hearts. Where there was sin needs to be placed with goodness or else there is a space for anything to fill and then we are in trouble! (Matt 12.43-45) We need to smash down those idols and not compromise. because rubbish in, rubbish out!

Anne Frank the Movie

2007-07-07T18:24:00.000-07:00

I watched the movie Anne Frank last night. i can't even discrible how it made me feel. i have watched countless movies on injustices and wars and the holocaust but this was something else. It is really well done and definelty gets your fire for justice burning. just recommending people to watch it.

2007-07-06T13:11:00.000-07:00

Two sperate incidents that God spoke to me through. The first was through a man who asked me to buy him KFC. He was stood outside a gas station and he lived there with his cousin who works there. I wouldnt of bought him the chicken until i realised that he lived there and i thought ' i won't waste my money on this guy cuz im sure his cousin can give him some food from the shop' so i didnt buy the man anything. Afterwards I got really convicted and was led back to the whole idea that i didnt want to 'waste' my money. Isn't that what God has done for me? Hasn't he wasted love on me? Hasn't he poured it out without rationing it, with giving it in moderation, hasn't he blessed me with things that I don't need, that i could survive without? hasn't me given dispite the fact that I don't deseerve it? hasn't he given dispite the fact that often i don't even appreciate it? God has wasted so much love on me! All those times he pured and pured love onto me and i rejected it, i ignored it, i was blind to it. Just as God has wasted love on me, just as he has poured out a rediculous amount, just as he has lavished uneccessary blessings on me, he is calling me to do likewise. To lavish love and blessings upon others, to give more than just what they need, to waste love, to love even when rejected, to serve even when not appreciated. And in that be a testimony on the incredible love God has for us that he would waste his love on someone like me.

The second incidient was the other day when i knocked on one of our kids door to pick him up for kids club. All these kids live in very rough housing projects. While i was stood at his door waiting for him to get ready his little brother came to the door. His brother mush of been about 5 but was wearing a diaper and was eating a mustard sandwich. The sandwich was just full of mustard and the little boy was licking all the mustard off as he stared at me. The house was quiet and dark and the floor was really dirty and the boy was stood there with a t shirt, a diaper and bare feet. He then dropped the sandwich on the floor of the house by accident but he didnt seem too bothered by it and dint pick it up. His mother saw the sandwich too that was open, face down so all the mustard was on the floor and she too didnt say anything or try to pick it up. It was a really little thing but it moved me, it hurt me, it made me want to cry for these two boys. There are so many people in this world that don't know their worth, their value. They have lost their dignity and their sense of worth. I think we find our value by how people respond to us, how they value us and unfortunetly not everyone has been brought up to know their worth and value and how loved they are. If we are told our whole life that we are beautiful and loved then that is how we see ourself too but if we are yelled at and used to blame whatever goes wrong and told that we are worthless then we will come to beleive we are worthless. And our belief of our worth effects everything about us. It affects the way we act and interact, it affects how we look after ourself and how we look after our house. This little boy was only 4 or 5 but he had already seemed to have lost his sense of worth. It is so important that we bring truth. We are bringers of truth and we need to expose the lies for what they are- LIES! Its a lie that someone is worthless andof no value. We can expose that lie by showing love by speaking truth and life over those we meet, by serving and befirending. And as Christian's we need to set the example by looking after ourself and physically taking care of ourself and our surroundingd and spritually taking care of our self and guarding our hearts and minds and not just allowing anything into us. But most importanly by introducing those we meet to the Father's love, to the one who values and love everyone who has been told they are worthless, so much that they will never be able to fully comprehend it.

i dont want to be a dying star!

2007-07-06T12:01:00.000-07:00

You've got your best man on the front side
You always show your best side
And evil's always on the other side
You say this is your strategy
But son I hope you take it from me
You look just like your enemy
You're full of pride

We better trash our idols if we want to be
In the army of the Lord
And the greatest idol is you and me,
We better get on the threshing floor
When will we learn that God's strategy
Is giving glory to the Lord?
We better trash our idols if we want to be
In the army of the Lord

Star how beautiful you shine
You shine more beautiful than mine
You shine from sea to shining sea
World-wide is your strategy
But shining star I hope you see
If the whole wide world is staring straight at you
They can't see me...

My pray is that we will never be a star that burns so brightly but the light we are showing is oursleves. May we never seek to out shine you Lord. May we never show so much of ourselves that you are nowhere to be seen in us. May we never deprive people of seeing you. What do we possibly have that is so great, so important, compared to you Lord? All that we have to offer is what Chrsit has given us. While people are spiritually dying around me, while people are starving and don't know the satifaction of the bread of life, may i never deny those poeple You Lord by no allowing you to take complete control of my life so that you can be seen through me. May we die to every last bit of pride, self and sin so that you can Live completely in me, so that you can be seen alive in me. More of you Lord, less of me! More of you Lord, less of me!

2007-04-26T11:51:00.000-07:00

God spoke through this song to me and it really encouraged me. just sharing the lyrics.

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eatBut always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give fate a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
I hope you dance
I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances, but they're worth taking
Lovin' might be a mistake, but it's worth making
Don't let some hell bent heart leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out, reconsider
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance(Time is a real and constant motion always)
I hope you dance(Rolling us along)
I hope you dance(Tell me who)
I hope you dance(Wants to look back on their youth and wonder)
I hope you dance(Where those years have gone)
I hope you still feel smallWhen you stand by the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give fate a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
I hope you dance(Time is a real and constant motion always)
I hope you dance(Rolling us along)
I hope you dance(Tell me who)(Wants to look back on their youth and wonder)I hope you dance(Where those years have gone)
(Tell me who)I hope you dance(Wants to look back on their youth and wonder)(Where those years have gone)

your life

2007-04-23T08:11:00.000-07:00

This is your life, are you who you want to be?

This is your life, is it everything you dreamed that it would be?

When the bricks begin to fall

2007-04-08T09:23:00.000-07:00

I have posted the words i spoke at my mum's service as I talked about how God has worked in me through these past couple of years as mum suffered with cancer and I would like to share the lessons God has taught me with you all.

'The past few years have been years of teaching and learning for me as Mum battled with cancer and, praise the Lord, enjoyed and lived life despite it.
C.S. Lewis once said ‘God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks to us in our conscience and shouts in our pain; it is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world.’
Over the past couple of years God has definitely used the situations to shout out to me. When someone who has always been there for you and seemed so strong is taken away from you it reminds us of just how temporary and fragile life can be. But more importantly it highlights the immense need we have for Christ. When the world around is changing, and what we assumed would always be there, is not, it is then that we are reminded and comforted with the fact that there is always one who we can cling to. We began today by singing ‘ Christ the solid rock I stand’ and this is our hope which we have. When all else seems to be changing there is one who will never change or leave us.
For me God has been showing me how important it is that He alone is my foundation, the one on which I stand. As I said he has been teaching me this through the journey of the past couple of years, but He also taught me this through Mum’s example.
One of the many things I will remember Mum for is her faith. Mum knew that Christ is the only firm foundation which lasts through life’s storms. Mo matter what life threw at Mum I always saw her display quiet but solid faith. It was always a testimony and example to me and my prayer is that I will continue to grow in that faith.
I want to finish with a poem that I wrote, reflecting on this life lesson and the example of my mum:

Our lives are built with many bricks, forming a castle together
They stand so strong and permanent, like they will be there forever
One brick may be a memory, and another one a friend
And together they become our comfort, on which we depend.

But no matter how strong and permanent these bricks seem to be
For someone to always be there, is just no guarantee
Sometimes people let us down, other times our lives just part
So in this changing and crumbling world where do we lay our heart?

Our lives are enriched by others, and on them we may lean upon
But there remains one foundation on which we can forever stand strong
In this shaky and ever changing world, may our faith remain stable
To battle through, when the most precious bricks fall, God will make us able.'

the need is the call!

2007-03-29T08:15:00.000-07:00

"'Not called!' did you say? 'Not heard the call,' I think you should say. Put your ear down to the Bible, and hear him bid you go and pull sinners out of the fire of sin. Put your ear down to the burdened, agonized heart of humanity, and listen to its pitiful wail for help. Go stand by the gates of hell, and hear the damned entreat you to go to their father's house and bid their brothers and sisters, and servants and masters not to come there. And then look Christ in the face, whose mercy you have professed to obey, and tell him whether you will join heart and soul and body and circumstances in the march to publish his mercy to the world."
- William Booth

David and Absalom

2007-03-13T13:01:00.000-07:00

There is so much running through my head. This past week has been a very full week. Not so much in tangible things, as in thoughts, heart experiences, revelations… One of the many things I have had to chew on was what Danielle talked about in class last week. It was awesome, it struck something within me and I want to share hopefully a little bit of that.
We were looking at the story of David and his son Absalom found in 2 Samuel chapters 13-18. Basically one of David’s sons Amnon raped David’s daughter Tamer. Tamer’s brother Absalom ,who was the son that David had had with Bathsheba, was filled with anger towards Amnon for raping his sister, and with David because David didn’t do anything about it and there was no punishment given to Amnon, So Absalom killed his brother Amnon fled. Three years later David who was longing to see his son allowed Absalom back into his kingdom. For two years Absalom was allowed to live in David’s kingdom but he David refused to see him.
We are told in ch14.25-26 that there was no one as handsome as Absalom. It says that from the top of his head to the sole of his foot there was not one blemish in him. In those times long hair on men was a sign of there beauty. e are told that Absalom would cut his hair and it would weigh to 200 shekels. So be obviously had a lot of hair!
Anyway finally after two years David and Absalom meet again and it seems that there is reconciliation. Absalom bowed down with his face to the ground and David kisses him. All seems happy! Not quite. Absalom is still engulfed with anger and jealousy towards his David probably honestly believing he would be a better king. So he stole the hearts of the men of Israel and conspired against his father. He even had David’s counsellor on his side. David ends up fleeing from his own son. who had killed his son, turned his people and his counsellor in whom he had trusted had all , against him. So anyway what happens is that even though Absalom is given wise advise not to attack David as he has all his mighty men and he is still too strong, Absalom in his pride attacks David and his army anyway. Even after all that has happened and all Absalom has done, killing his other son, turning his people against him, trying to kill David and take over his kingdom, even then the one order David gives his army is do not touch my son, do not hurt him.
This is what happened to Absalom. He was riding his mule to meet David’s men, and as the mule went under the thick branches of a large oak tree, Absalom’s hair got cut in the branches leaving him hanging in midair by his hair while his mule ran off. Hanging by his hair, his glory, he was caught up by his pride. Hanging from a tree.
Even though David had given orders for Absalom to not be harmed David’s men knew there was no other way for them to win this battle. Absalom, the enemy the one bringing rebellion had to die for the battle to be over. The battle was won! It was over! David was still king! He should be happy, relieved, right? No. When David finds out Absalom is dead and the fight is over, he doesn’t utter words of relief or joy but this is his cry ‘o my son Absalom, o Absalom my son my son, if only I had died instead of you. O Absalom my son my son!’
David’s kingdom was divided, his own son had turned away from him. And the grief and heart wrenching pain that David felt is what happens to the heart of God when his kingdom is divided, when his children turn away or even turned against him. David cried out for his son that even after all his son had done, all the pain, wrong, deceit, he still loved his son so much that he wished he would of taken that place, hung off that tree died instead of his rebellious son. David couldn’t do that, he could wish it but there was nothing he could do to take that place, to bring his son back.
But God could. God did. He answered David’s cry. The cry of a father. He took our place. Like Absalom he hung on a tree, like Absalom he had a spear thrust into his side. Where Absalom rebelled, Jesus submitted, where Absalom prided himself in strength, Jesus came broken, where Absalom was arrogant Jesus embodied humility, where Absalom was all about himself, Jesus was all about others, the body. Just as Absalom’s life ended in him hanging in a tree, Jesus also ended hanging in a tree but Absalom ended in death, death of himself, death of his kingdom. Jesus ended in life, he gave life, his submission, brokenness, humility and community gave us life. His life was one of true humility and dependency. And this is what we are called to imitate. True humility and true dependency. Isn’t this what the washing of the feet was all about? It wasn’t about the physical act but that Jesus knows who he is, he didn’t need to prove to anyone but was secure enough in who he was that he could do the humiliating task of a servant, washing dirty stinky feet. Winston Churchill said true humility is ‘having the right estimation of yourself’ I would like to add ’before God’ to that. Having the right estimation of who you are, before God.
And what about true dependency? Not taking pride in our own strength like Absalom but truly depending on God. David learnt this very early on. When David goes to fight Goliath, he is asked by king Saul why he thinks he can do this and his answer is because when we has being faithful with the simple job he had of tending sheep, when no one was around and looking, he saw a bear or a lion coming to steal a sheep and the spirit of the Lord came upon him and he stuck the animal down and reach into its mouth and grabbed the sheep. Here in David’s own backyard he was building his dependency upon the Lord, stepping out when no one was looking, being obedient, being faithful, and in this being prepared for all that the Lord had in store for David.
How can you build up your dependency? What are the bears and lions that you need to stick down as you begin to build up your dependency on the Lord?
This all links in with my last blog about weakness, for we cannot be truly dependant on God is we do not recognise our own weaknesses and our immense need for God. May God reveal any rebellion, pride of strength, arrogance and selfishness to you. May be continue to humble and even break you, leading you to submission and selflessness. Praise the Lord for the beautiful truth and that it is truly in our weakness that His strength I made perfect!

the beauty of weakness

2007-03-10T15:21:00.000-08:00

So recently God has been teaching me about weakeness, not the easiest or most fun thing to learn. I have always thought of my self as pretty strong. And i htink i come across as a pretty strong, solid person. I have always found this a downfall, as I often rely on my own strength instead of God, I forget how much I need the Lord and I dont live completely dependant upon him. It has only been lately when I have recognised how completely and utterly weak I am! How proud of me for it to take this long! I have only seen weakness to be a certain way, recognising some things of weakness and not recognising other things. God has been revealing my sin, my lack of self control, my fears, my insecurities, facades I put up, my reluctancy to be vunerable and weak in the eyes of others..... so much weakness and yet I couldn't rejoice more. Praise the Lord for having mercy on me and helping me see this weakness that i was just too blind to see. I want so much to be completely dependant on God but that is only going to happen when I understand the depth of my weakness and the immensity of my need of the Lord. I truly believe that 'growth begins when we begin to accept our own weakness'.